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So my daughter is going to college!! Yikes!!! A Mother's Separation Anxiety

Today is the official send off party that the university is hosting for incoming freshmen from our area. Sigh. Being that I totally lost it on graduation day and on her 18th birthday, I'm sure move in day (exactly 1 week, 6 days, and 29 minutes from now) will be yet another emotional breakdown for me. When my daughter was born, I had hopes and dreams for her upbringing, education, and her future. Now that the years have slipped by, I wonder if I've done enough. Does she know I love her? Does she really know Christ? Does she know how to take care of herself without me? Is she able to be a productive, contributing, difference-making member of society? These things keep me up when I should be sleeping! As I sit and look at my daughter who is currently engaged in some profound ;) conversation with her friends on Kik, I see that she is happy. Thinking back on how she helps me take care of her younger sisters and all the conversations we have had on the way to and from her various practices, meets, and performances, I realize that she is well adjusted and ready to begin this next chapter of her life.

In our home, I set the expectation of earning a college degree early on. My children speak of it often. That being the case, you'd think that I'd be well prepared for my daughter to embark on this new journey. Not so much! Yes, I am excited that she and I have successfully made it to this point together. However, I must now fight the same separation anxiety that she faced those first few weeks in day care. I take comfort in the memories of her childhood. I remember as if it were just yesterday, reading to her for the fist time. She was two months old. I read all the nursery rhymes, fairy tales, and fables. Yes, I made the faces and did the voices! Echoing in my mind is the laughter of my sister-in-law who thought the babies (her son was seated right next to my baby for story time) were too young to be read to.On that first day of reading, I read Dr. Seuss' Oh, the Places You'll Go. I was so full of hopes and dreams for my baby who was the smartest, most adorable baby ever, right? So of course I wanted her to always be encouraged to keep moving forward and to dream big. Dr. Seuss' book was perfect! Now, I feel the need to revisit this old favorite as she ventures into adulthood. The need to encourage her and spur her forward has never been so great. This just feels right. I know she just might complain, but I plan on reading this book to my daughter again - in its entirety before I leave her in that tiny dorm room. She needs to hear those lively words from Dr. Seuss, "You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know.And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go."  I think it's fitting, like we've come full circle. Yea, this feels right and it assuages some of my anxiety.

How do you feel about letting your babies go? I'd love to hear from you. Follow Hoottastic and comment below!

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